One of a kind.

How? Tell me, just how?

Today while I was on my way to filming, I thought of the birthday gift that I gave you.

You remember?

The little moving pig? (:

I remembered how I ran from Jack's Place all the way over to AMK Hub to get it for you and even though I had to run for it, I guess it was all worth it seeing you happy.

Haiyo, sometimes I really still think of it.

Thinking of me not capable of being religiously strong for you.

Saddens me everytime I think of it or hear people talk about religion.

The way you phrased it to me still echoes in my head.

It made me felt so useless for that moment in time.

I still don't know why you said that if I changed for you, it wouldn't be the same.

We should have taken things slowly and not judge our future so quickly.

And no, you didn't force me into accepting christianity, I did.

I wanted to change for you and also for the better of me.

Can't understand why you'd rather break a heart than to slowly work things out.

It's true, the period where you freaked me out, it was my fault. I kept pestering and pressuring you.

But now, things have turned so stale.

Was loving you a mistake?

I loved you so much...

Tell me now, was it my fault in loving you with my whole heart?

OH! and this was the song that I remember hinting to you how I liked you hahaha so funny when I listen to this now. (:

Walking back home, I still felt hints of missing you, bits and pieces of them. I wasn't as painfully as before but I could still feel it.

Can't religion and love work together hand in hand??

Hmm, if I ever get a new gf, it will be a christian because I believe they are faithful to whom they love. But it's going to be different this time of course, I won't be my old self anymore. I think I'll keep that old self for you. Different people will get different approaches from me and yours was truly special, one that showed you my heart.

I'll slowly start believing in God but also keeping an open mind, just like my parents.

I wish I could find someone like my mother's personality.

Caring, open-minded and also very down to earth. She's lame sometimes too but it's okay cause I think I got her lameness too! hahaha

She's a methodist but she was actually opened to different religions cause of my grandfather and great grandfather. The period she was in was a time when multiple religions came mixing up into her society.

Well like I said,

Love is patient, Love is kind.

We'll see how things go. (:

As for now, I guess letting you go is the right choice? I don't want to be a burden to you anymore...

I still look back at the photos that are in my laptop once in awhile and laugh and cry to them cause they were such happy and meaningful memories for me.

The memory of holding you in my hand and telling you, "everything's going to be alright because I'm here."

The memory of expressing how much I loved you and you teared after I said those words on the webcam.

The memory of hugging you close and kissing your forehead to give you reassurance that my love for you was genuine and pure.

(':

Why oh why?

Why couldn't we work it out as adults?

Sometimes I really wonder who you are now, you've changed so much.

I miss missing someone I love.

It's 12 now and I'm in school staying over.

Today is a sad day for me cause I lost my clothes that I bought yesterday and they were like $136. ):

And one of them were like the only piece left.

Hai, so to overcome it, I decided to stay in school to do work so I can forget it. :/

"Her heart rightfully desires to love God, but is not remembering God also wants us to love one another, God rejoices in healty relationships, God is good, and loves seeing you two HAPPY, He wants nothing more than that.

Who does she think puts the love in her heart, God is happy when you are good to your neighbor, and when in Your Heart you know He has given you someone to love and care for, and grow with. She sounds very noble, and a wonderful sweet person, :) reassure her that you love her, and that you will support her in what is important to her, as long as you feel comfortable with it.

Remind her Love does not bring Guilt, God is love, and thus cannot be a bad thing. Guilt does not come from God, Yes, the innitial burst of energy and excitement falling in love brings can deinitely make you think of that special someone 24/7, but that doesn't mean you can't use all that new found love to do even greater things! If you are happy, and feel so much joy and love in your heart share it, if you find in this love the reason to be better each day...and let the Spirit of God show it to other through you..HOW MUCH GREATER LOVE WILL HAVE MADE HER LIFE! In Her prayers, let her thank for the blessing of meeting someone who makes her want to be better, and in her Actions may she share her love and joy and kindness with the world.

Everyone falls in love, God is a jealous God in that He wants you to worship him, and follow his command, but he is also Sweet and Rejoices in seeing you happy and doing good to others, He blessed her with a boyfriend who cares about her feelings, and cares enough to do some reseach in finding whats best for you both.

She's just worried, she needs a bit of guidance, and this has happened because she forgot she can MAKE God PART of your relationship(NOT RELIGION)....

Love is patient, love is kind, it is never jealous , love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful (Corinthians).

If only.

Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants?

Stop thinking about what I want,

what your parents want.

Ask yourself,

What do YOU want?

What do you WANT?

I've been following Valentina's blog and she recently broke up with her bf.

And reading from her formspring, I saw some replies she gave to people and she said partly of the break up was her being christian and that's why he left.

These events that happened during these past few months has come to show me that religion is really a very scary topic.

I really don't get it, can't we all just live life simple?

If both parties really love each other, they should just forget about these boundaries and live the moment.

Cause with love, nothing is impossible.

These heartbreakers have never tasted real heartbreaks before, that's why with a word of mouth, they just let you drop.

I think what I really miss is making a girl I like to smile for what I do and who I am.

You're not the same anymore. Not the same person I first knew at least.

The one that would always ask for hugs to calm your soul and the talks that would help ease your mind.

I think I just miss supporting someone that I love.

Is like their joy is my joy and for them to return their joy into their love for me, best feeling ever.

You seem pretty down lately too, I saw you in the lab 2 nights ago and you looked kinda >:|

I wanted to help you but I really don't know how to :/ I'm such a sucker at approaching people ._.

Don't be sad, it makes me sad too.

I think I'm just too use to helping you so much in the past that it's a habit for me now.

See this is what I mean when I over commit, it's like a chore to me now, one that I would gladly do just to see that smile.

It makes me feel so much better letting it all out in this blog of mine.

I should do this more often, sounds a little more like my old self. (:

Alright it getting late, time to sleep.

Goodnight!

It's funny how I'm always the only one reading this but I guess these are my experiences and they are meant to be kept.

(I always have this weird thought in my mind that I could telephatically talk to you... ok i think i'm just being weird ._. )

It's 5am now, I'm in school now and I feel so oily and dirty now it's getting me irritated. -_-

Hmm, today I was talking to Michael about you.

He asked me what happened between us.

And knowing he's a Christian like you, with family members who are Christians too, he told me about him and Ariel.

His parents are just like yours and Ariel isn't a Christian at all.

His parents also wanted him to get a Christian gf but they were open to accepting Ariel.

He told me that he was slowly letting Ariel in to his religious beliefs. As for Ariel, she was opened about it.

I'm just amazed how the two of them could work out so smoothly.

I think it shows that with love and feelings, nothing is impossible.

Sigh, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have let you down, really.

these thoughts really start to come flowing back in again.

The sudden thoughts of you always saying HI to me on the chats always made me smile instantly.

Those smiles felt genuine.

Feels like the smiles I give to people nowadays are so fake that it just shows more of pain than happiness.

I suddenly remembered how you always use to miss me a lot and that just always made me smile.

And how you always randomly hug me that always warms my heart.

you know what, forget about this previous post ghee hoe.

Always remember, forgive and forget.

If we were really meant to be then let it be.

For now let's just stay where we are.

I really... really wanted to show you how much my love is worth.

It may be cheap now but the longer it lasts, i'm pretty sure it will grow off to be more and more expensive to the point it becomes invaluable.

I guess I'll just work on my religious views from now on. It might be for you but for sure it will be for the greater good of me.

sorry but I think it's time to start hating you, I think that's the only way I can forget you.

It's easy for me to say, but sigh it sure it going to be hard to do.. I'll try.

Fuck, why did you have to break this fucking heart of mine?

I bet you never felt this heart broken before that's why you didn't thought of my feelings and broke it.

And of all reasons, you had to tell me it was about religion.

I sincerely wanted to open myself up to christianity because I wanted to love you more and also to understand more about it but you didn't even want to give me a chance.

You think this relationship was a game to you? Really?

I've sacrificed so much time and effort in building up this relationship together with you and you just had to topple it down.

And now you're happily living your life away while I'm here, suffering with these thoughts day and night.

You really believe by telling yourself all that "love can wait" or " love sucks", it will help you be a better person?

If you really love God, I'm pretty sure he has told you to share your love, or at least not give up on it.

It will take years for me to recover.

Sigh, this is just me venting my anger.

Michael Bublé - "Lost" Official Music Video

I am scarred.

For the girl I once loved so much, it has broken me down so much that I lost who I once was.

Forgotten how to love maybe?

It's scary, I feel like I've even lost how to love my friends and family.

Why is it that I'm still thinking of you?

I guess there's no such thing as moving on fully.

There is no such thing as 100% cause there will always be there 1% still lingering in you.

I need a labbit to hug now.

today sure was one very boring day.

I woke up, went for my dental and came home to watch a movie and i'm here, rotting.

today's dental was wasn't anything that i expected.

I bled a lot. ):

And up till now it's still hurting and cause of that I can't sleep.

Hai...

I feel weird sometimes, like I need to lean on someone's shoulder. (not a guy's shoulder of course! haha)

I've no idea why I'm such a stutter talking to people.
I can get off well but then half way through I will start stuttering and my mind just blanks out from what I was wanting to say.

It's such a turn off don't you think?
Haiyo, where has the once confident me gone to?

Oh yes my awesome blog!
I dreamt of her 2 nights ago, she was on the train sitting beside me and we had our heads leaning on each other and it lifted my heart up, but sadly only for that moment.

I miss smelling her scented hair, hugging to sleep with her head gently resting on my arm.

I don't know what you're doing, really.

It's like the more I try to forget you, the more I think of the past.

It's so frustrating and I'm lost.

Let's see, it's been 4 months since the break up.

Looking back, I surely did look one hell of a mess.

But I'm getting back up on my feet, taking it one day at a time.

Sure it's still a little tough to forget but I just kept telling myself if things were meant to be, they will be.

I finally kind of realized that, yeah it's true, now isn't the time for you to be in a relationship.

You're still young.

And because you're in a christian family, I guess it makes things harder for you to handle.

Having to lie to your father etc.

It was also partly my fault, loving you too much that you felt numb for my love.

I was also happy that you missed me and I hope everyday would be like this.

But I had to mess it up by confronting you, I'm such an idiot.

The only one reason that I felt wasn't acceptable was not having to chance to guide you.

You just shun me off without giving me a chance to show you what I was capable of.

But on the other hand, I don't think it's worth blaming you cause like I said, you're still young, you're not willing to take risks like I do.

Don't worry, when I was at your age I was also afraid to take risks but as years went by, I realized that life out there is one hell of a scary place and if we don't take risks, we won't earn anything.

Anyways, I hope that whether you read this or not, you'll really understand what I mean.

There's still a small part of me that doesn't want to let you go but it's quietly hiding. Can't believe I still keep your photos and letters till now.

You make my heart warm.

Cause your giggles and laughter are all so cute.

:3

Goodnight.

I don't want to be sick already.

I'm losing my appetite, losing my weight, losing my mind.

She always wears yellow when she feels like herself
With a smile that's shining brighter than I ever could tell
And I know that she means business cause she won't say a word to me


But lately winter's taken over summers heat
I'm shaking in my sneakers shivering in the breeze
I'm nervous cause I don't know if she'll ever return to me


Cause when she acts like herself I swear that she outshines everyone else
But she's been feeling alone and no one's fine on their own don't you know


She's been wearing gray without a though of change
And I've been desperately trying to make her see
That even when it rains the sun is still ablaze
And right now in the dark she is my shining star


So tell me if you're ever feeling sad or alone
And I'll do my very best to touch your heart with my own
And I hope you know that nothing but sweet nothings will appear to your ears


Cause when she acts like herself I swear that she outshines everyone else
But she's been feeling alone and no one's fine on their own don't you know


She's been wearing gray without a though of change
And I've been desperately trying to make her see
That even when it rains the sun is still ablaze
And right now in the dark she is my shining star


Yeah... yeah...


She always wears yellow when she feels like herself
With a smile that's shining brighter than I ever could tell
She knows that I mean business cause I tell her she's all that I need

Every word in this lyrics means a lot to me cause...

What is love?

A student asks a teacher... "What is love?"
The teacher said" in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is, "You can only go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went into the field, went through the first row and he a big wheat but he wonders maybe there's a bigger one next.
Then he saw another bigger one, but he thought maybe there is a even bigger one waiting for him.
When he finished half of the wheat field, he starts to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous ones he saw.
He knew he has missed the biggest one and he regretted.
So he ended up empty handed and went back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "This is love, you keep looking for better ones but later you realize you have missed the right person, and he/she won't be with you anymore."

Yesterday you finally got your labbit!
haha I hope you liked it!
I liked your present too!
Thank you! :D

When I was on my way home yesterday, my whole body was so cold...
I quickly took my medication and slept, I was so close to puking. ):
But thanks to your trusty hoodie, it kept me warm!

I shall spend the whole day resting today, time to nap somemore!

Went to change my braces yesterday and now the wiring is so much thicker! :(
Then I went to taka to find marie to wrap my present.
She sure hasn't changed since the last time I met her.
I had to wait like nearly an hour plus to two to finally get it wrap cause she had customers. (I'm just too lazy to wrap)
Then I took the MRT home and I was praying the whole way that it won't breakdown and luckily it didn't then I quickly changed to the NE line to Serangoon, phew!
And tada! I was back home with a BIG present for you. (:

Hmm, I'm guessing this will be my last present for you and I won't be able to see you anymore cause I won't have anymore "excuses" to meet you...

I miss scratching your head like a little kitten and smelling your scented hair.

Haha ok stop thinking!

Time to do work!

This is my little cozy shell that no one reads.
I'm in contention. (:

Oh by the way...
I'M GOING GENTING WITH THE POROROS FOR NEW YEAR'S COUNTDOWN! ^_^

What a beautiful song :)
I'm gonna learn it!

It's 4am now and I'm still not sleeping.

I recall the time when you worried for me whenever I played soccer in the rain and asked me to be careful. And when I listen to you, you'll be like "good boy ^^" and that always made me happy!

The worst incident was when I dislocated my shoulder and made you worry, I'm so sorry about that :( When you called me when I was in the ambulance, I felt so much more calm you know?

Hahah we were so farny! (:

I guess you sure did had fun at USS today ya? :)
Gahhh, how I wish I could go too T_T

OK TIME TO SLEEP NOW!
GOODNIGHT!

Today you went off to sentosa to stay! how awesome is that? :D
I wish I could stay in a hotel too, it's been so long since I last smelled the hotel room, it always makes me sleepy...

I suddenly remembered the time when you went batam ( or pulau ubin i forgot heh!) for a family holiday too!
I was uber sad cause I thought I couldn't see you for the next whole weekend! :(
Then you made me a montage of you and I instantly made it my phone's wallpaper! hahah
The times when you skyped me while in your hotel room eating rubbish was funny too! :)

OK it's 3am in the morning, I should be sleeping now cause it's getting colder and colder! brrrr....

I'm glad no one reads this blog cause it's utterly embarrassing for them to know how weird I truly am.
Goodnight! (to myself hahaha)

Today you gave me a blue hoodie, my favourite colour. (:
I'm wearing it now as I'm typing this cause it's cold in here!
And you did a very colourful cute birthday card for me, when I read it I felt this warm, fuzzy and nostalgic feeling.
Sorry if I didn't seem as enthusiastic as I should be because I'm still feeling sick, it's been nearly 1 week already. :/
But I have to admit, you looked beautifully cute today! (:

I was happy that I got a hug from you :)
But it was temporary.
Oh well, I shall burn away these feelings out on soccer later!
Talking about soccer, I suddenly had this reminder of you.
Remember there was a night when I just finished playing and you called me saying you missed me and you were feeling sleepy?
And that I said the 3 words in front of my friends to you on the phone and it made you super happy?? :)
It gave me more reasons to love you.

OK TIME TO DO MY WORK!

The only people I would love tickling would be babies and you. (:
Haha gah I miss tickling the hell outta you, making you laugh like you've never laughed before!
I remembered the first time you shaved my legs too!
gosh i felt so pretty when you shaved all those hair off! ^^ HAHAHA NO LA NO LA! OMG I SOUNDED SO GAY!
I happened to remember our little outing we had one night when we went to eat ba ku teh and shared our ice cream together, best feeling evar! :D
It wasn't that of a grand thing for me to do, but every moment was enjoyed! especially seeing you happily eating was such an enjoyable moment for me. (:
It's been awhile, it's been awhile... maybe I shall go back there one day and eat again, but I guess it would be an alone thing for me now.

Actually there was one real reason why I wasn't able to let you go,
and that was because we've both seen each other completely, physically and mentally.
And I'm a conservative person and I would never go around playing with other people.
THAT is why I wasn't able to let you go.

Hmm, I am one weird guy, really.
Whenever I tell my friends about my situation, they always say, "wah you so nice, so rare to find such a good bf." but really, how can I even consider myself good if I can let you slip through my fingers?

Maybe God just wants me to take this time to realize and understand that being Mr.Nice isn't all that good in a relationship.
There's always a need of a pinch of bad boy attitude in a relationship to balance things out.
And so I did, I went to the club last friday for the first time.
Everyone was so pumped up to go except for me.
Haha ok I shall continue this clubbing post on my next post...

I just watched a proposal video done by a singaporean guy and I must say he sure did have the balls to do so.
The funny thing about watching it was that the moment he talked about first dates, these vague memories started coming back and I didn't realize that I was tearing up until my vision went blurry.
It sucks to have a soft heart, I always tear up easily and I can't control it.
Call me a loser or a wimp but I'm human, I have feelings.
I always wanted to do such things for a girl. To show her that I truly love her and I would love to sing a song for her even though my voice sucks.
Shy I may be but I'd be willing to do such things in the name of love.
BUT nevermind la, at least I still got my Monroe to give my love to her! :D
Oh yes! I've been playing 2 songs lately too, Favorite Girl by The Icarus Account and Marry Me by Train!
Gosh they're so fun to play!
And yes! I finally mastered 3 finger plucking! ^^
I need to learn 4 finger soon, ring finger, you're up!

Dear you,

It's been a months plus two since our break up.

I've been feeling much better now. So much better than the first day when I fell so badly.

Looking back now, it's been quite a ride I had.

I still have these pieces of memories still left in me that I have yet to forget. Actually, I can't bare to forget them.

Remember how I met you for the first time during the orientation camp?

I was as shy as a mouse and you were quiet too.

But I told myself I had to open myself up to people around me otherwise there was no point being a OGL in the first place.

And so I did, I talked to everyone in your group including you and you were the most interesting person to talk to amongst your group.

And from then on, we talked and talked for like forever and in no time, we became close friends! :D

Do you know you were the one who taught me how to hug??

Haha, funny isn't it? I've never really hugged anyone in my life until you asked for a hug that night.

I was very shy about it, totally clueless on hugging and felt awkward.

Every time when I hugged you, I felt this warm fuzzy sensation and it always made me smile.

Haha remember how we like to call our hugs like bear hugs or side hugs?

Oh yes! and I remembered how foolish I was one night when you told me you were on the bus already and I was just walking out of school then I went, "OK! I SHALL RUN TO THE NEXT BUS STOP TO GET ON THE SAME BUS AS YOU!!!"

Then you asked me to not run cause at that time, my ankle was still like a bun hahaha!

It was so slippery that night too and I was wearing slippers! I had to run through the muddy grass to take the shortcut hahaha but it was all worth it! :)

Then when I got on the bus, you were so upset and worried for me hahaha and I guess I haven't told you yet but you looked absolutely cute when you were angry with me :x haha and you kept showing me the >:( face hahaha! I loved how you cared for me even in the angriest way possible :)

And I was randomly thinking the past few days about what was your most cutest phrase you ever said to me and I have concluded with... *drum rolls* "COME HERE! ^^" hahahaha I have no idea why it sounds cute but whenever you say that, I cannot control my body, it will like automatically run to you! :O

Haha oh yes! and I also loved how you always asked me to piggyback ride you around my house! :p haha it was super lazy of you but I love to carry you around if you didn't know! :)

Haha those were the days I guess, now you're just so busy...

Did you know that it was because of you that I manage to pull through my year2sem2? :)

Even though I skipped classes or took time off to spend with you, I kinda believe it was all worth it because after working for long hours, I would always look forward to meeting you to spend my time de-stressing and it helped me a lot! :D

Alright I shall stop here for now! I shall pen my thoughts down once in awhile, guess it does help relieve. (:

Goodnight,

Hoho

I hope you don't read me as the person of the past.

I've pretty much moved on already.

But I decided to leave that little bit of me stashed at the back of my mind.

Only when you have decided to be ready, I would take them back out. (:

It's funny how I always look back to this video once in awhile to remind myself that the true happiness comes from the simple pleasures in life.

Seeing this video makes my happy because it shows me who you truly were.

Goodnight world. (:

Another day, another challenge.

A new beginning. A new fresh start to find you back. (:

I shall end it off with this.

It's been nearly 2 weeks but this feeling seem to have not disappeared. I really do miss you a lot, the old you. ):

I've been trying very hard to forget but every place I go just keeps reminding me of you.

You may not even be reading this now I know but it's all the better for you because I wouldn't want you to think back of all these.

You are very busy now and I can see that.

But I hope that once this is all over, we could slowly find ourselves back.

I'm holding on because I'm stubborn in love. I will love you till you come back to me one day.

That day when you broke me apart was not the end of this love at all. It just broke out into a new fresh beginning for me.

The end was only a new beginning for me to wake me up from my paranoia and to find myself back to get you back!

I believe that there's still a part of you that still holds on to your old self and it's quietly lingering in your troubled soul.

"Say goodnight, our first goodbye. I've only for forever and forever is fine."

Please don't read this, Joanne.

Can someone tell me?!

Why am I so crazy over you??

I don't know whether you can see how much pain I'm feeling now...

You're always being so happy with your friends but I'm like a prick in your skin.

Where have all the silly questions and humorous laughter been?

In the first place, why am I like that? :(

Guess I just need to keep swallowing and swallowing until things go back to what they were...

School's starting tomorrow and I'm feeling like crap.

I'm having a block nose and difficulty breathing, haiii.

I'm so worn out from being lazy.

I hope this semester will get me kicking and working.

and...

no more roller coaster rides please. (:

Now I know what it feels to be lonelier than lonely.

Sucks.

I've been too alone too much.

Someone help me.

Sure I know it's tough and scary,
but remember that I'm always right here for you...
even if it means for me to assure you a thousand times, I would..
like how The Beatles would sing it,
I wanna hold your hand :)

"Hihi I wait for you okie?? :)"

"Haha ehhhh?okiee :D but whyy??"

"Heee causeee.......

I want to wait for you to send me home hehehe >.<"

Impossible I guess...

you're there sometimes but i can't touch you.
cause I'm not allowed to.

Now you sir, gave me a challenge : Withstand the test of time.
It's been hard though but I'm still doing well. (:
I believe it's the difficulties that I'm facing that will ultimately prove my worthiness as a human, for who I am and what I believe in.
Only time will tell...

Hmm, I wonder..
when will I ever be able let the world know that I love you?
:)

I should learn to let go.
sometimes.
:(

omg i dunno why but i suddenly got ulcer on my tongue ._.

sigh, today i overstrained myself again.
now my legs feel so exhausted from all the running and stretching and kicking.
tmr's going to be a very aching day for me.
and i got blisters on my feet cause I didn't wear proper socks. :p
Now it's like radiating with pain. ):
Haha, haii I should have just spend a little bit more on buying a pair of socks and all these would not have happened.
But omg, I have actually spent about 500+ in a month! :O

Ok me very tired liao...
goodnight.
:D

"No one taught me life lessons. I had to pick it up myself."

Dear Ghee Hoe,

Let me tell you a story of yourself.
(:
It all started about a couple of months back.
You met this girl at your school orientation camp.

Both of you were just friends and talking to each other.
But for you,
you started to had weird feelings for her and you didn't know what it was.
So you didn't bother much at first.
But as days and weeks went by, you started to hang out more often with her, noticing the every little detail of her and this weird feeling started to get deeper and deeper...
Then one day, you decided to ask yourself what this feeling was.
And you searched and searched and...
you came out with an answer.
It was called love.

When you realised that you loved her, you were scared and afraid to tell her cause you were afraid things might just happen like the last time and you didn't want to feel that way anymore.
So you decided to hide it away from her, pretend you didn't love her.
But one day, she also decided to confess her feelings for you and you were O_O
"Haha wah, she loves me and i love her lei!"
So you were pretty much over the moon! :D

However,
things went deeper and deeper
you gave your love to her and she gave hers to you and loving each other seem to be so much exciting and happy!
But slowly you realise that she isn't just an ordinary girl.
She's has problems that are pretty interesting yet frustrating.
So things get a little tangled up.
You were afraid at first, having doubts of your own. But as time went by and doing some self reflections, you realised that things had to be different.
Restrictions were made for her and you had to hold up with it.
You envy people with girlfriends that have a normal life.
But you don't expect much from her cause you understand her and you know that, all these other things are just bonuses and extras for you.
You seem to be very strong cause you didn't give up that easily as you would expect. (:
Everyday the moment you wake up, you've been telling yourself, praying, "Just wait a little longer and things might just reach the end."
And it's been going on till now and hopefully it reaches the end soon.

I guess your life isn't just meant to be plain. (:

Just keep telling yourself,
"No, she ain't going. Wakey wakey...."

Oh well,
I guess It's just me and myself going alone.

My sundays always seem to be the weirdest of days.
It's the day that I would literally just laze and rot around at home for nothing!
I could safely say, sundays are my day-offs from the outside world.
And at the end of every sunday, I would just tell myself,
"What A Day! Phew!"

Haha, guess that's how this weird world of mine works. (:
Oh well!
Goodnight, my world!
^ ^

It's suprising this guy came into my dreams and yet I still can remember him.
o.o
oh well...

It's fun to be happy,
and happy to be fun! :D

But, with all that fun comes a time for us to rest. (:

Goodnight, world. ^ ^

I waited and waited and waited and....




DING!

MS BUN HAS BEEN BAKED! ^ ^
HELLO MS BUN!!

Hmm, sometimes I wonder, what is love?

I think,
In math, love is a problem.
In history, love is a battle.
In art, love is a heart. (:

But to me?
Love always will and simply be just,
You
&
Me.
^ ^
Sooo,
With these hands held together , we would slowly intertwine them tightly like vines.

I've given so much,
but got so little in return...




But,
I didn't complain.
(:
Cause I know the world was never made fair.

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to you sleeping soundly. (: (And your sister screaming now and then)
Guess you can't hear what I'm saying to you now cause you're in your dreamland! :D
But I hope those words I said get into your dreams :D
And I'm guessing you pushed the phone away from your ear so you can't hear anything i'm saying now too. (:
So basically, I'm talking and singing songs to myself the whole time, sounding like a retard...
hahaha ._.


Woo the curry puff very nice! :D

Oh well!
Haha anyways,
Time to sleep!
Goodnight to you!
(:
I'm sure by the time you wake up!
You'll be like, "OH NO! I FELL ASLEEP! D:"
But I'll tell you, "HAHA IT'S OKAY! ^ ^"

Soo, yup!
^ ^

So by the time you read this,
I think I'll still be sleeping, hoping I can wake up tmr!
OKIE!
Good morning to you! ^ ^

I wish to hear your voice through the phone in a radiophonic tone.
Cause it would give me the tingling goosebumps. ^ ^
And a way to record your voice as a memory that would be locked up in the archive vaults of my brain.

(:

And,
Your livejournal post drew a smile on my face :)
Hehe,
I
(L)
you
^ ^

I'm not clever,
I'm not hardworking,
This competitive brain of mine is killing me softly and slowly...

I always try to help people out whenever I can,
but I'm always backfired.
They just want to kill me off and leave me behind.
Why?
If so, it might just bring me to be a more selfish person which I do not want to be. ):

Sigh, this world is so unfair.
:(

Should I start isolating myself away from the world again like I did before?
I have no plans for my break anyways... ._.
Hmm...

Haha, you just love to make my life oh so interesting ya? :D
Life can't be simple for me,
but on the other hand, having a simple life is boring too :)
And, I can see you're trying to spice my life up.
No wonder people around me call me a rare.
Guess I must thank you for making me such a rare. (:


:D

I had just felt the longest sleep in my life,
and
I'm going to bleed it all out in the court today.

I'm very, very tired...
please, can you just let me sleep in peace, school work? :(

blojourumblritterook.

I want to hold your hands and walk on the odd flooring tiles, kiss you under the mistletoe during Christmas and hug you during every rainy day.
:)

I want to tear,
But these tear ducts don't want to work.

I want to break down and fall,
But these legs just don't want to give up.

I want to stop brooding thoughts,
But this brain just wants to keep thinking.

I have many things I want to say,
But this lips just wants to keep itself sealed.

I have a soft and weak heart,
That weeps for the littlest of things inside.

I feel like a failure at times,
But my other half asks me not to give up.

I am so sad now,
So,
Goodnight.

hehe today I felt very artistic, so I decided to paint this :)

Haha no la, I where got time to paint, haii...
Hehehe :p
This is just a program I happen to find today :)
It follows wherever your mouse goes and you can record it.
Like a heat tracker :)
And I did this from.....
11:13pm - 3:17 am
and I made art!
yay! :D

Okie, time to sleep,
Goodnight.
:)

Login to facebook,
"Poke back"
"Are you sure you want to poke back??"
"POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!POKE!"

hahaha
:D

Ni hao!
Wo shi Wang Yi Hao :)
Ni ming jiao she me ne? ^ ^

Racing hearts
and
Numbing minds.

Dried eyes
and
Crusted lips.

Holding a cup to my head,
giving a big sigh...
Fingers on the keys,
and here it starts...

I know it's been awhile already but I just got my new acoustic electric! :D
For the down side,
I'm facing a whole load of work and there's only 3 weeks left!
I gotta clear at least like 3/4 of it by the last week!
C'MON GH!!!
3D > DRAWING
hahaha
:D

Haii, I need someone to help me blog cause I'm running out of things to blog :(
Oh well,
it's 45 to 1am and I still haven't bathe haha
Ok ok, "Ghee Hoe, after you finish your work, post on the forum, go bathe okay? :)"
OKAY!
hahaha see, I've got nothing to blog that I have to talk to myself ._.
OK OK
Time to go now,
Goodnight to all! :)

Hahaha
Mr Thumb, who are you? o.o
And who's Ms Thumb?
Why are the both of you on my tagboard? O_O

Details In The Fabric [Music Video]

It's all about the little details in the fabrics....

Reflections of my life flashes by as I listen quietly...
:)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
I'VE BEEN SPENDING 3 HOURS.
THINKING.
AND STILL I CAN'T GET ANYTHING OUT!
I'M A FAILURE.
I OVER THINK TOO MUCH.
:(

Guess I've been heavily bothered by these bad dreams of mine for the past few days and I've been asking the same old questions to myself time and time again, Why?
I need to snap out of it, quick.
Stop thinking about it.
Now I need a pillow to scream my lungs out.

I think I should sleep it off this time round....
with a heavy, burden heart of mine.

Goodnight.

Hihi ^^

I am a very cute person :)

I know how to play the guitar and the ukulele.

I can make a girl smile alot :D

And this is me,

Ong Ghee Hoe

091990S


Hahahaha okok i very bhb i know :p

Hey Blog, let me tell you something....




Haha, nothing! :)
Bye bye.

What he said was true.
Grades are just numbers.
Do what you believe you want to do.
We've been shackled by the education system that we do not take our chances, explore and challenge ourselves.
It's time, to rebel.
That's how merits are given.
After all, we are the Creatives...

It's 630am, there's school later on and I'm still not sleeping ._.

I was a bad day yesterday.
I went around Bugis, City Hall and Dhoby Ghaut only to not find myself any guitars to buy at the end.
And worst of all, a little kid bought the guitar.
Haha but I pity the kid, cause his mom was angrily telling him like, "You better play nice music for me if I get you the guitar ah! If not you'll get it from me." or something like that ._.
The only good thing I got out of this whole wasted trip was a bunch of Beatles picks :)

Ok I'm sleepy now, time to sleep.
I'll write more when my brain decide to work ._.
Sooo,
Goodni...I mean,
Good Morning! :)

The still life images captured,
kept away in a tiny bottle in my head.

Today was Nic ang's birthday celebration,
a pretty simple, casual one.
Went to eat at Jack's Place,
after eating, one went off...
Bused back to bishan J8,
Then birthday boy went clubbing with his cousins,
so left a few of us,
Keith forgets to take his keys from birthday boy's bag,
went all the way to Zouk to get the keys and cabbed back.
While the rest went to eat Kway Chap.

I don't usually eat that kinda stuff but blame in on my tummy for pms-ing with me. haha :p
Then Keith drives over and fetch me home.^^

Now I'm super tired...
I've been tired ever since this morning.
And I guess what made me even more tired was that I didn't even do my presentation today :(
Then whole day also never touch anything except mineral water.
I guess the eating just made me even more tired cause bao liao then very tired ._.
Now I can't type much cause my brain is on the verge of shutting down liao.

Haii, I got another dream but I don't know whether I should share :/
Oh well, hopefully I do,
So I can get it off my chest. :)

Alright then!
Goodbye!
:)
P.S. I'll update a better one when I'm more awake :)
oh my god, I'm seeing double vision! :O

Hahah wooo, this is what it is going to be like for the next 1 3/4 years! :)

Instant noodles + 1 cup of 9 egg yolks! :D

hahaha no la just kidding!

It's just a cup of oleng juce :)
The instant noodles looks crappy right?
Haha, cause I suck at cooking such things... :x

Haii, all thanks to school, now my bio eating clock is so messed up.

Nowadays, eat at the wrong timings.

Or maybe worst, don't even eat at all! :O

Sigh, oh well!

That's life as a SIDM student, gotta live with it, pft!

I'm clocking in the hours,
Just for that day to come.

I just had another dream the previous night.

All I remembered was,
Both of us were in a mall.
She was very sad.
I asked her, "Hey! :D Why are you sobbing??".
She didn't want to tell me and ran away into the elevator.
I was determined to find out why, being worried too on the other hand.
I ran after her, down the stairs, jumping big leaps off the ground only to finally reach the ground floor.
She was running out from the elevator and I was running behind, catching up with her.
I caught her arm and when she turned back, her long hair brushed against my face and there, I saw her sobbing, like a little 5 year old girl.
As I saw the tears rolling off her cheeks, I gently wiped the tears off her cheeks with my thumb and ask her, "Haiyo, why are you crying? Shhhshhshh, don't cry..." and I showed her a warming smile. (:

She just stood there looking at me with that sobbing face for a second or two before finally bursting into tears and grabbed on me, hugging me very tightly and crying on my shoulders.
I felt the tears as it soaked on my shirt.
Then, I gently rested my hand on her head and said, "Ayio, you silly girl! I'm always here for you. (:"
And I gave a little peck on her forehead and we walked off into a pet shop. (:
I wonder, why did I ever say those words....
And till now, I'm still trying to figure why she was crying cause I don't remember her even saying a word to me ._.
And till now, I still can't remember her face. She's someone familiar,
that's I all can remember.
Oh well, I'll just let dejavu hit me.
There is another scene where I was with her but that one was too vague to be recalled.
I'll try recalling when I HAVE THE TIME!
:)
Sigh, why do these dreams like to just come so randomly? ._.

Why do I always care so much for people when it has nothing to do with me? ._.
And when it's their fault, I easily forgive them?
But when it's my fault, they always blame me?

I guess being all Mr.Nice guy isn't exactly a good thing in reality.
But it's so hard to stop being nice!
I think I should....

START SINGING A SONG FOR YOUahhhh haahaa nonono!
You think I stupid ah?
Sing song for you for FREE?!
Hahaha you say "please" first then I sing! :)

hehe no la,
just kidding. ^ ^

Byeeeee.

Andd, I've come to realise that I wasn't the only sad one in school ._.

Anyways,
I need someone to motivate me,
just lie to me, tell me that i can get something from you to keep me working.
Otherwise, I'll never, ever, do my work.

Well well,
today's somewhat special cause it's dear matthew leu's birthday (it's not really today cause his birthday was actually yesterday but still...) and we went to eat at astons at suntec.
Wasn't much of a deal, just went there, eat, walk around and came over to my place to watch soccer.
But the most awesomest part of this whole outing today was the car ride man!
7 guys in a car, getting lost in the CBD district, wondering, "where the hell is suntec?!".
Lucky I had my Iphone and there was GPS, otherwise we'll be dead by now.
Then another 2 came for dinner.
And eventually when we drove back to my place, there were 9 PEOPLE, NINE REN, inside a 5-seater car!
Amazingly we all squeezed in, driver, 2 in the front, 5 at the back and 1 IN THE BOOT!
HAHAHA JEREMY TAN! XD

Ah well, it's all fun! :)
Then we ended it off by lifting up the world cup at sheng shiong!
Haii, Matthew, Matthew, angry clubber world cup winner boy! hahaha! :D
Anyone?
Wants to motivate me with something positive? :)

Ahright, off to sleep now!
Oh and I woke up like super late today! :O
Like my class starts at 9, I woke up at 8:30! D:
It's either me being so tired that I can't hear the alarm orrr my phone just doesn't like me :(
haii, as soon as I checked my phone for the time, I literally freaked out and CHIOOOOONG all the way!
somemore take taxi waste my money....
Then I was super blur in the morning =_=
No wonder I couldn't do my tests...
AHHH forget about the tests!

Alright alright!
I'm very very close to memorizing the whole song of START! :D
But I'm not sure whether I should be joining some lunchtime concert thingy ._.
Haii, I don't like the feeling of getting nervous and suddenly blank out :(

OKOK!
I've been telling myself to sleep yet I'm not sleeping!
Anyways, it's been a fun night soo....
GOODNIGHT ALL! ^ ^

Bun anyone? (:

Beatles - Twist & Shout (live in 65)

HERE ARE THE BEATLES! :D
C'MON C'MON C'MON C'MON C'MON BABY!
TWIST AND SHOUT!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOO!
LET'S JAM THIS SONG! :D

It felt really weird,
walking down the streets of Chinatown,
to see the repetitive things of the chinese.
Unproductive day.
Knew this was going to happen someday.
That very heavy feeling that shit's gonna happen anytime.
It sucks to be always smiling at people like I'm always so happy but deep inside,
it's all feeling sad,confused and uneasy.

I think I should stop relying on my guitar to avoid these troubles.
It's wasting every second of my time.
But,
I can't bring myself to do it cause playing it can only relieve whatever troubles I have.

Only The Beatles can make me smile straight from my heart. (:

Just give me a pass/D for 3D animation and I'll be contented.

Why?
I was all ready for school the previous day and suddenly the next day,
I became all sad and sulky.
This isn't suppose to happen....not now....not ever....
Sigh...

It's raining oh-so heavily, how am I to go to school? ._.
Don't go school, don't go school....

"Dear Blog,

I have many things to say to you now but you're going to tell the whole world about it so, I'm just going to keep it inside for myself to brood about it.

Bye bye."

Oh well, time to play my guitar! :)
I shall sleep when the birds start chirping!

Firstly,
I didn't know when buddha jumped over the wall, we could find things that had thorns and was soft soft and squishy squishy and looked like a piece of octopus-like tentacle.
Only until when they told me, "this is a sea cucumber!" and I O_O
Soo, you're telling me that the difference between normal cucumbers and sea cucumbers are the growth of thorns??
So now I know, when you plant cucumbers in the sea, they become softer, darker and thornier! :D

Second,
I know I've been saying this in my past posts before but really,
THE SUN HAS TO REALLY STOP BEING ANGRY! >:(
It's always trying to kill me with the heat whenever I'm playing soccer!
And I will always feel like a heat radiator whenever I don't move!
Haii, I should just write a letter to the sun like,

"Dear Sun,

Can you please not be so angry every time and cool down? You're always trying to kill me with your heat!
Thank you! ^ ^

Yours Sincerely,
Ghee Hoe."

Haha okay I sound stupid ._.

Ow, I got a hard knee knock on my thighs and it hurts like crap!
And I got a sprained wrist!
2 for injuries!

OH! and I admit I admit,
I LOVE WATCHES! :D
Not the funky, colourful ones!
Like, Mont Blanc, Nautica, Alexandre Christine, Titus and Marina Miltare just to name some :)
You guys ought to check them out!
It's like "Ohhh Myyyy Godddd....the beauty and elegance of it! It's just.....magnifque man! ^ ^"
And I always thought the watches my father buys for me is cheap ._.
When I checked them out at a watch shop, I just stunned O_O cause it was nearly reaching 500! :O
Now it really hurts to see the screen of my silver watch crack cause I accidentally dropped it! T_T
It's like how girls like diamonds and jewelry and stuff! SAME SAME! :D

Hmm, guess I'll be stopping here for now!
Bye bye. (:

Sigh, this is what happens when there's an oil spill in the sea...
OIL SURFIN'! :D
Nonono, I'm just kidding! But on a serious note....
It's kinda sad to see oceans polluted by oil spils cause it affects everyone!
Haa well!
Wait, in the first place, why am I even talking about oil spills??

This is just a random post.
:p

yue liang dai biao wo de xin

I'm don't listen to chinese songs but....
She's my one and only favourite chinese singer. (:

I remember when I was a little boy, wearing a mickey mouse cap and suspenders with shorts, I used to listen to her songs in the car when we are driving home at night.
It's a lullaby song for me, forever and always. :D

How I wish now chinese songs could be as beautiful as this piece.

I know, this is supposed to be on tumblr but for all the good things found, it must be shared here :)

I think I did the most sinful thing I've ever did in my life.

I stepped on a grasshopper.
It was an accident! :(

I was walking happily back to the lab with my waffles like, "lalalala! :D" then suddenly, I heard a "CRACK!", like a twig that broke!
Then I turned back and told myself, "OH SHIT WHAT THE HELL!"
"SHIT SHIT SHIT, I'M SO SORRY! :O"

And it was hopping away helplessly, with a leg gone....
haii....I'm going to hell for this ._.

Ow, I just burned a hole in my wallet.

Today I was woken up by a beetle crawling on my bed
And I was awkwardly stun when it tried to crawl on my head.
So immediately took the chance to grab it on its legs,
And flung it out of the window and it flew away :)
The next time I did was to look around,
only to realize there was no one to be found.
So I got off my bed and dragged my feet,
over to the bathroom and it was a big feat
I then looked into the mirror and saw myself,
Oh what a stupid blur face I have in front of me I tell.
And now I'm very lazy to continue this rhyme,
Cause it sounds stupid in its design,
So for now, I'll say byebye
And maybe next time, I'll write a new rhyme! (:

I think I'm talking to myself writing this ._.
Oh well.
Bye bye.
:)

Hello.
My name is Ghee Hoe.
Nice to meet you.
Bye.
:)

Okay, I think I just.....destroyed my tumblr ._.

OH WELL! :D
Hahaha, guess I'm gonna post all my music stuffs there :)

I'm currently now typing all these stuff on a ironing board and it feels weird.
And I'm staring into this page thinking, "Hmm, what should I say to you to make it interesting for you to read?"
So I'm thinking and thinking, and poof!
I came out with this idea to type out whatever I'm doing now which obviously doesn't amuse or interest you in anyway.
And I'm not in the dreamy mood like my previous post so this might bore you :p
And I'm feeling hungry.

I always wondered, wouldn't it be nice to be a love poet, writting it for people who can't express themselves to their fullest and giving these poems to their love ones.
It a joy to share for all :D
But on second thought, my engrish isn't that good :p
So nah, forget about that.

I believe...

that one single action is equivalent to a thousand words.
that one small action makes the biggest impact of them all.
that it's always okay to take one step back and from there, two steps forward. :)
that it's the little imperfections in all of us that makes up our life and who we are.
that it's alright to fail but not give up. :)
that we should not regret in every single decision we make in life.
that blogging all these just made me feel like a retard. ._.

Alright, I'm going to stop cause it's feeling kinda stupid for me soo before i go.......
I'm going to play a song for youahhh ok ok just kidding :D

Ciaooo.

This is no such thing as privacy in this day and age.
The only privacy we can find is within ourselves.

We are just ants living in this huge nest called, Earth.

I'm always seeing flashing, glimmering light whenever I close my eyes, what is that??

Gives me the goosebumps when your words are whispered softly and gently, like lavender rain drops on my skin...who....are....you?

Everyone is an iceberg, there's always something under the surface that's hiding from all of us.

I dreamt that my dad was a serial killer who slaughters people if they are having a high fever of 39 degrees.

I dreamt that bad things are gonna happen to me, but so are good things. But mostly, the bad ones come true.

The smells of my past, nostalgic yet bad in a way.

Tea is my alcohol.

The only reason why movies, TV shows etc portray the good always winning is because, in reality, the bad always win. This is a way to balance the good and the bad.

If religion was all a hoax, who were we worshiping or pray to all the while?

I remember riding a bike down this long stretching riverside in the sunset, with you sitting on the back, grabbing on my body and say those 3 words but, with the shadows over casting, I couldn't see your face....who...are...you?

All I could remember was a girl, sitting by the window in a black and red dress under the purplish lamenting moonlight and making me tear up for god knows what reason.

You must be wondering by now, "what the hell is he talking?" right?
Well see, these are just some of the things that my mind's going through all the time when it's unoccupied with work.
They'll just keep looping and looping until the day I find out answers to them....

It's the littlest things that we do in life that makes us who we are :)
and
I still can't seem to know why fishes just DON'T WANT TO DIE! They can still come back for revenge with piercing a bone into my tougne, tounge, tongue....TONGUE!
and
I finally changed my strings :D

That's all!
Ciao! :)

DEPAPEPE - START

I know I know, it's 430 in morning and I'm still blogging when there's school afterwards....
But I just had to say last week was a pretty good week for me :)
Improvements here and there...
Well, I hope every week was like last week, life would have been so much easier for me :D
I didn't realize thumbs could be couples too until last week hahah :D

Oh I'm also gonna learn this song, called Start by Depapepe( Ima post it later), hopefully once school starts after the term break, I'll be able to finish playing this whole song with JEAREMY TAN YONG WEN (I know you're reading this...)

And also, get my electric acoustic guitar! :)
Talk about guitars, I actually played a song in front of half my course mates in school on fri hahaha, felt like whooo! when everyone was clapping to the song :D

Guess it takes me to be happy to blog something this long, cause it's been ages since I ever written such a long blog post.

Alright shit, the birds are awake and chirping!
Better get going!
Oh I just realised ciao is bye for italian and au revoir is for french but anyways, they have the same meaning so mehh...

CIAOOOOOO AU REVOIR! :D

Industrialized brains,
fat boy tries to do a moon walk,
roads like snakes,
humans like ants,
ball in the construction dirt,
shouldn't have slept,
i'm now.....
lost. ):
All hope
is gone.
Anesthetics could numb my hand and punch the walls till it bleeds and breaks bones.
Releasing anger without pain.
It's hard to scream on such a small room where everything's choking me up to the brim.
The only way to resolve my anger and sorrows would be in my dreams.